stuff

GOD Is
Busy

If you
don't know GOD, don't make stupid
remarks!!!!!!
A United
States Marine was attending some
college
courses
between assignments. He had completed
missions
In Iraq
and Afghanistan. One of the courses
had a professor
who was an
avowed atheist, and a member of the
ACLU.

One day the
professor shocked the class when he came
in.
He looked to the ceiling
and flatly stated, GOD if you are
real
then I want you to
knock me off this platform. I'll give you
exactly
15 min.' The lecture
room fell silent. You could hear a pin
drop.
Ten minutes went by
and the professor proclaimed, 'Here I
am
GOD, I'm still
waiting.'

It got
down to the last couple of minutes when the
Marine got
out of his
chair, went up to the professor,
and slugged
him;
knocking him off
the platform. The professor was out
cold.
The Marine went back
to his seat and sat there,
silently.

The other
students were shocked and stunned, and sat
there
looking on in silence.
The professor eventually came
to,
noticeably shaken,
looked at the Marine and asked,
'What
in the world is the
matter with you? 'Why did you do
that?'
The Marine
calmly replied, 'GOD was busy today
protecting
American soldiers
who are protecting your right to say
stupid
things and act
like an idiot. So He sent
me.'

The class
room erupted in
cheers.

What is a Fallen Legend? It’s quite simple really. It is a legend that has been so twisted and altered that if you were to read a detailed account of the event that it was based on, you wouldn’t be able to tell that they were the same story. The greatest Fallen Legend of all is a story of a young hero who fled his home town with his only friend and embarked on an adventure that would end with him overthrowing an empire, saving the planet from certain destruction, and bringing peace to the land for hundreds of years. Now whether or not any of that is to be believed is up to you. As with all stories, they tend to change a little bit with each retelling so you can never be sure what actually happened and what was made up. My story however, one that would become a Fallen Legend of it’s own. Began fifty years earlier. Back when both the world and myself were much more naïve.

that's the first opening. and here's the second

They say that history is the greatest of all teachers. And the tale of past deeds define who we are in the present, And what we shall be in the future. With these tales men, women, and children all around the world are inspired to do great things in the hopes of joining the countless number of great heroes and legends that make up our history. This tale in particular is proof that with enough determination, The right incentive, a strong will, and a little bit of luck, Anyone can rise above who they are and join the pantheon of legends that make up our history.

Smoke and bits of stone and mortar covered the ground. Men lay on the ground still unsure of what happened. As they uneasily got to their feet armed guards rushed into the room. As the smoke cleared two large holes in the walls were revealed, One leading into the room and one leading out where a window used to be. The guard captain looked out the newly enlarged window and growled. “Damn fool…. This is the tallest tower in the castle. Can‘t believe that bastard was able to do all this by himself while hanging on to her…” He looked back at the other guards. “Well don’t just stand there! Get down there and find the girl! The emperor will have our heads for this.” One of the guards spoke up. “But sir.. With all due respect it was just a girl. I highly doubt his majesty will be angry over loosing one servant girl.” The captain’s face turned a bright shade of red. “THAT WASN’T A SERVANT GIRL YOU BRAINLESS ELFSPAWN!!! The girl that demon had kidnapped was none other than the daughter of Amaros HIMSELF!! THAT DEMON KIDNAPPED THE SLEEPING SAINT!!!! Now get down there and find her!” As the guards ran out of the room the captain looked down at the ground and saw something moving. The demon had survived the fall and was running through the courtyard. The captain let out a slow sigh. “Well…. I don’t think I’ll be making it home in time for supper.”


The sounds of running footsteps filled the long halls empty save for an axe wielding, red haired, emerald green eyed woman and a half starved, ghostly white haired boy. “You sure you know where you’re going Kara?” The boy asked. Kara responded. “Of course I know where I’m going. I’m headed towards the stairs… Where ever the hell that is…” The boy sighed. “We’ve already passed it twice.” Kara stopped running and faced the boy. “WHAT!? WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME??!!” The boy replied. “Because you told me not to say anything. I thought you were going somewhere else.” Kara looked like she was about to strangle the boy. “Al….. Where else would I be going in this place?” Alstread stood there and started to think. After a few seconds Kara let out a loud groan. “Oh forget it. Just show me the damn stairs

I was packing for my business trip and my three year old daughter was having a

wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point she said, 'Daddy, look at this' ,

and stuck out two of her fingers.

Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in my mouth and said ,
'Daddy's gonna eat your fingers,' pretending to eat them.

I went back to packing, looked up again and my daughter was standing on the bed

staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face.

I said, 'What's wrong, honey?'

She replied,
'What happened to my booger?'
----------------------------



Four guys have been going to the same deer camp for many years. Two days before the group is to leave, Frank's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Frank's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do?

Two days later, the three get to the camping site only to find Frank sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire. "Damn man, how long you been here, and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?"

"Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, ‘Guess who?’ I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing a brand new see through nightie. She took my hand and pulled me to our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. On the bed, she had handcuffs and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, and I did. And then she said, ‘Do whatever you want.’ So, Here I am.”
--------------------------------------------

John was a salesman's delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmicks. His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change.

One day John came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector. It was about 5:30 that afternoon when Tommy, their 11 year old son, returned home from school. Tommy was over 2 hours late..

"Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?" asked John.

"Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project," said Tommy.

The robot walked around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking him completely out of his chair.

"Son," said John, "this robot is a lie detector, now tell us where you really were after school."

"We went to Bobby's house and watched a movie." said Tommy.

"What did you watch?" asked Marsha.

"The Ten Commandments." answered Tommy.

The robot went around to Tommy and once again slapped him , knocking him off his chair.

With his lip quivering, Tommy got up, sat down and said, "I am sorry I lied.
We really watched a tape called Sex Queen."

"I am ashamed of you son," said John. "When I was your age, I never lied to my parents."

The robot walked around to John and delivered a whack that nearly knocked him out of his chair.

Marsha doubled over in laughter, almost in tears and said, "Boy, did you ever ask for that one! You can't be too mad with Tommy. After all, he is your son!"

The robot walked around to Marsha and knocked her out of her chair.
-------------------------

Why I fired by Secretary . . .

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning.

I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, 'Happy Birthday!', and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone 'Happy Birthday.'

I thought . .. . .

Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids . . . They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday ! '

It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me.'

I said, 'Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go !'

We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. She chose instead at a quiet bistro with a private table.

We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office, Jane said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day. . . We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We ?'

I responded, 'I guess not. What do you have in mind ?'

She said, 'Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner . . .'

After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, 'Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back.'

'Ok.' I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake . . . .Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing 'Happy Birthday '.

And I just sat there . . .

On the couch .. . .





Naked.
---------------------------
Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation, get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.

The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words. She says, "I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent."

They throw the switch and nothing happens. They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her.

The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words. "I just graduated from the University of Kentucky School of Law and I believe in the power of Justice to intervene on the behalf of the innocent."

They throw the switch and again, nothing happens. Again, they all immediately fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness and release her.

The last one (you know it), a blonde, is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm from " Mississippi State University " and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell ya right now, ya'll ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug this thing in."
--------------

Even the most hard-core gamers are sounding the alarm about the rise in the number of satanically-themed video games that target God and Christianity, invite players to make pacts with the devil, and elevate Satan to hero status.

“This has been going on for the last 10 years, but especially in the most recent games,” said Lance Christian, 32, of Alton, Illinois who has been an avid gamer for most of his life.

For instance, in one game, players kill the Archangels Michael, Gabriel and Raphael before going on to destroy God. Another game requires players to sell their soul to the devil and rewards them for “killing unbaptized infants.”

All of these games seem to have one central theme – God is the enemy and the devil is the hero. And they do nothing to hide it. One game guide glibly states: “The Judeo-Christian God is portrayed as the prominent villain in the series . . . “

“This is just the tip of the iceberg in what I have discovered,” Mr. Christian said. “I feel that the devil has a new tool to work with in this age of technology, and the majority of adults in a position of responsibility are left in the dark.”

His list of the most egregious games includes:

• Tecmo’s Deception: Invitation To Darkness (Playstation) – Players “make an unholy pact and sell their soul to Satan in exchange for power” with the object of the game being to ensure the resurrection of Satan and obtain his power. (This game is rated “T” for teens.)

• Nocturne (Playstation 2): A game in which the hero (a demon) destroys the three Archangels St. Michael, Gabriel and Raphael, then goes on to destroy God.

• Shadow Hearts (Playstation 2): The hero uses his power to intercept and destroy God and “save the world.” (Some games in this series are rated “T”.)

• Dragon’s Age Origins (Playstation 3/Xbox 360): The game revolves around the story of God going mad and cursing the world. A witch attacks believers and players can “have sex” with her in a pagan act called “blood magic” so she can “give birth to a god.” Another scenario allows players to have sex with a demon in exchange for a boy’s soul.

Other games with satanic themes are Dante’s Inferno, Guitar Hero, Devil Summoner, Koudelka, Trapt, Bayonetta, and Darksiders.

Game publishers are cashing in on the satanic, anti-Catholic and the general anti-religion content themes and using them as a draw for buyers. For instance, Electronic Arts launched a catchy ad campaign to sell its new hell-inspired game, Dante’s Inferno.

Buyers interested in the game were greeted at the site by a phony new game called, “Mass: We Pray.” When they clicked on the link, they were declared a heretic and re-routed to Dante’s Inferno. After ordering, fans were offered a “Number of the Beast” discount of $6.66. The same game was advertised during the Super Bowl with the teaser, “Hell awaits.”

Game publishers such as Electronic Arts and Midway Games have not responded to The Bulletin’s requests for comment.

Even though most of these videos are rated by the Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB) as “M” for mature audiences, many are rated “T” for teens. But regardless of the ratings, they can easily fall into the hands of children from older siblings or parents, Mr. Christian says, and points to a recent YouTube video of an eight year-old playing a popular adult Satanic-themed game.

Paul Bury, editor of Family Friendly Gaming said the envelope is definitely being pushed with these games. “Role playing games (RPGs) have progressively gotten worse over the years,” he said. “It is difficult to find a role playing game that is not ‘T’. . . . There have been some ‘M’ rated ones where all kinds of decadence is allowed.”

NAME/ALIAS: Takum
RACE: Appears to be Elven
GENDER: Male
APPEARANCE: Takum appears to be an average adult elf with silver colored hair, He’s of average height for an elf at 5,9 and of slender build. His grey eyes seem to hide many years of experience and wisdom behind them. Far more than someone his age should have. With a charming smile and a face that you just seem to want to trust Takum seems to stand out while in a crowd.
WEAPON(S): An inconspicuous staff which has the ability to retract to a smaller size to fit into his jacket or to reveal a long blade hidden within it.
ARMOR: A leather jacket, Doesn’t like to be weighed down by heavy armor
OTHER BELONGINGS: A brown bag full of random items, clothes, maps, books, food, and the occasional animal that has hitched a ride inside.
MAIN SKILLS: Illusionary magic. Takum has a rather strong gift in the creation of illusions. Some strong enough to confuse every sense of a person.
Trickery. He’s a good cheat. He knows how to trick people and not get caught. All the while making it look easy
Encyclopedic knowledge. Takum has spent most of his life in the pursuit of knowledge, Regardless of how trivial. And often enjoys putting that knowledge to good use.
Heightened awareness. Knowing what’s going around you is always important. And being able to tell what a person’s thinking by their body language is a must when trying to figure out how to trick them.
Unclassed magics. Throughout his travels Takum has learned many different types of magic that don’t fit into the normal classifications of other kinds. These can be anything from parlor tricks to the stuff of nightmares. Luckily he’d rather not use most of these around other people as they tend to be rather unpredictable.
HOMELAND: Terondil
FACTION: if applicable
HISTORY: Not much is known about Takum. Even on his own world he was an enigma . He claimed to have been a Moon elf outcast but showed none of the regular signs that the outcast had. In fact the city that he claimed to be from never even existed. And anytime anyone asked where he was from he’d either give them a cryptic answer, or if he was in the mood to toy with people would point to where he was and to somewhere else and say “From neither here nor there” with a large grin on his face. The one thing that people did know about him was to never bet against him for he always managed to win any game he was playing, Even if it was his first time playing. Another odd fact is that no matter where he appeared sightings of a white Fox with multiple tails would soon pop up

NAME/ALIAS:
Nynlata Redmoon. Otherwise known as shadow to those who can’t pronounce her name.

RACE:
Dark elf turned werewolf

GENDER:
female
APPEARANCE:



WEAPON(S):
Nynlata has two twin blades in her possession. The blades were both forged from the same metal and were once one sword instead of two. As such the swords are perfectly balanced with each other, making them perfect for a variety of attacks. In length the swords are about three hands long, the unit of measurement being from the base of the hand to the tips of the fingers.
Both swords are forged from a sturdy metal alloy which is almost impossible to break. Apart from the blades Nynlata carries two handmade braces for her hands which enables her to punch twice as hard without hurting her hands.

ARMOR:
“Less is more” is Nynlata’s favorite saying and as such she prefers the bare minimum than tons of armor. That being said Nynlata wears a holster of black leather that covers her chest and wraps round to the back, clipped together by a series of interlocking clasps. On her right shoulder she has a metal shoulder plate that is thredled through the right holster strap.
Nynlata also owns a pair of tight leather pants and black dyed doeskin boots.

OTHER BELONGINGS:
Her lucky gold coin. She found the coin whilst searching through an old Ayleid ruin. Besides that Nynlata has a small key ring of skeleton keys

MAIN SKILLS:
Destruction magic – Easy enough to explain, if it explodes, burns, electrocutes or freezes or pretty much causes widespread disaster Nynlata probably cast it.

Hand-to-hand – Nynlata is just as dangerous unarmed as she would be with weapons

Swordsmanship – if you have sharp pointy objects you have to learn how to use them right?

Inheritance – Thanks to Nynlata’s family heritage she has the innate ability to sniff out any being in an open or closed area, the presence of blood doubling the range at which something could be detected.

HOMELAND:
Used to reside in Cyrodiil

HISTORY:
Nynlata Redmoon was once nothing more than a Dark Elf with a few inherited family tricks, that was until things changed for her forever. The word change could be taken more literally than most could decipher. How it happened is known by Nynlata and Nynlata alone and it doesn’t seem that the truth is about to be shared any time soon.

Besides the fact that she is no longer entirely elven in nature not much is known about her actual history besides many a rumor. Some claim that she was a thief that plagued the cities of Cyrodiil, More claim that she was some sort of “bloodhound” that worked for the Black Hand, sniffing out dying enemies before ending them once and for all.
What is known is that somewhere along the line a legion of Imperial city guard chased her from the docks of Anvil, only to lose her ship in an unnatural fog. Since then Nynlata has become nothing more than a Myth to Cyrodiil.

NAME/ALIAS: Waru Himitsu / Lady of the water’s edge.

RACE: Water spirit… nuff said

GENDER: female

APPEARANCE:

WEAPON(S): An abnormally long katana which seems to be incredibly cold when wielded by Waru.

ARMOR: None

OTHER BELONGINGS: Waru carries nothing but her will and her sword

MAIN SKILLS:

Control over water- Being a water spirit Waru has complete control over water and its forms. Waru is also able to turn herself into a light mist, but this is used only on rare occasion as it is a risky transformation to perform.

Agile- Waru is extremely light which adds to her speed and agility

Knowledge of the sword – Waru’s katana is just like an extension of her being, there is no difference between the weapon and its weilder, as such Waru is skilled in using the sword.

HOMELAND: the waters of a land just outside neverwinter

FACTION: none

HISTORY: Waru used to be a minor spirit of the water in a land not too far from Neverwinter. Waru never interfered in the business of the flesh-and-bloods as she called them, only act as a guide to whomever would stray on their way. She would guide them to the water’s edge and then downriver to Neverwinter. For this she became known as the Lady of the water’s edge. Every so often she would converse with a druid, or one who knew the land and gain information of the mortal world.
Soon she had to leave her home for the influence of the King Of Shadows was reaching her waters and polluting them with his tainted darkness. It was only a matter of time until she followed the waters to another realm of existence.



https://i.servimg.com/u/f35/13/65/50/95/3f5c4910.jpg

pure boredom, after creating the character i proceded to make a diary for her aaaaaaand started methodically killing off every person in cyrodiil.

lol. sounds fun. Looks good though.

http://www.fallout3nexus.com/downloads/file.php?id=10346


enjoy your zombies lol.